In the first grade I was held back for my reading. I didn’t read as well as everyone else did. I was the only one in class who had to take the same grade twice, and that was a big deal for me. Back then I thought I was stupid for it and that everyone would look at me different. I didn’t want to be the dumb one or the idiot of the class. As that year went on and I started to get the gist of things, I knew that it was a good thing for me. By the end of the year, I was reading better and I felt a lot better. I started to take home books and read them on my own.
The only place I read before was school, I wasn’t challenged at home by my mom to read or do any kind of school work. It was up to me to learn and take matters into my own hands. If I wanted to learn or do anything for school I had to do it myself at home or at school. I don’t recall a time when I was made to sit down and do my homework like normal kids. Since I didn’t have help or made to do anything at home, I didn’t work on my writing much. So from the start my writing was bad, I never had practice with it. If you don’t practice at anything you’re not going to be good at it.
I could never read my own writing. It was always sloppy, and I write really fast. I could come up with good ideas to write but by the time I wrote it down, I couldn’t read what I’ve said or I would forget. I would have to write something multiple times just so you can read it. My teachers would ask me what I wrote, and I couldn’t even tell them. By the end of my fifth grade year I had a really good reading level. I think it was on six grade level. That was a big accomplish for me, from getting held back for my reading to being above my reading grade.
I knew getting held back helped, even though I was a grade behind. That was the worst part about it, being back in the same grade. Once I got to middle school I was always the oldest in my grade. When people ask why, I was kind of embarrassed to say. I would lie and make up an excuse. It was something I never really told why until about high school. By the time I got to high school it wasn’t that big of a deal and I wasn’t the only one that got held back. The best teachers I have ever had was in middle school and they were my reading teachers.
All three years they were the teachers I always wanted to see. My eighth grade teacher was the biggest one to impact me. She actually got me to like reading the most. I guess it was just how she taught, and she always made us read books that I liked personally, like Twisted by Laurie Anderson and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie, the two first books I actually enjoyed reading. I would say they helped me to started enjoying reading. By the end of eighth grade I was finally on the level of reading I liked and was in a reading class foe advanced readers.
In middle school my handwriting was at an all-time low. I broke my arm for the first time in six grade and it was my left hand, the hand I write with. Every year I was in a cast for something. So on top of my writing already being bad I had a cast on. For the whole seventh grade, I got a computer to type everything on because of my arm being broke. Eight grade I didn’t get to use the computer which sucked but my writing still sucked but it become known. You actually didn’t have a reading class in high school, so I honestly didn’t read a book on my own, unless I had too.
So I think that’s when I stopped reading a lot and letting it be. I didn’t mind to read in class when I had to, but as far as me going to the library and getting a book that never happened. That’s how I am now, I don’t mind to read, but I don’t push myself too. I am content on where I’m at with it, but now that I’m in college I need to start reading. High school came around and my writing actually got better. I didn’t break anything since middle so that wasn’t a problem. I had a teacher to actually help me on it and slowed me down. My writing then is how about where it is now.
It’s not the best but it’s eligible. Now I could actually get what I was thinking on paper. Now that I am college I’m going to start to like both. It sucks but no matter what I’m going to have to do it, so why not begin to like it. I like to learn and want to learn as much as I can, so actually picking up and a book is going to be what I have to do. I still don’t think of myself as a reader or writer, but I will by the end of college. Now that I’ve been through the struggle of it all, now is the time to do the best I can do, and you won’t get anywhere without both.